Masculinity and Stereotypes

 

" I can't sleep because I got a family to guard" 

" I can't be gentle and kind because my masculinity will be questioned"

" I can't cry because this will never understand"  

" Mard ban, kya ladki ke jaisa ro raha hai" 

"Dude look their, He is wearing pink" 

 "Mard ko dard nahi hota" 

How many of you have heard, read or have spoken these kind of phrases throughout your lifetime? A lot of times or not at all? Do they perpetuate gender stereotypes? Tell me one thing, if women behave in ways which don't fit the gender stereotype such as being assertive- they are viewed by people as less likable. Right?  Does that same thing hold true for men as well? Do you think men are penalized for straying from the strong masculine stereotype? 

The answer is yes! Men too faced backlash when they don't cling to these masculine gender stereotypes. The times when they show vulnerability, they are nice and have empathy, and when they cry. These are just stupid gender norms created. 

Gender Stereotypes or norms are socially constructed ideas of how people are expected to behave, dress, groom and speak based on their biological sex.

I personally believe that anyone can possess any kind of behavioural trait , whether it is defined as a masculine or feminine trait, despite their sexual identity. But equating masculinity with being a man and femininity with women results in unfair and unequal treatment and expectations. From that day " boys are supposed to like blue to women are supposed to like pink", it is embedded into our culture. 

Men are taught to not ask for help or show their vulnerable side. If they do, they are viewed as less competent, capable and confident. If they do make themselves vulnerable by disclosing a weakness at their workplace, then they are perceived to have lower status. 

What does "Be a Man" even mean? Just stop using this phrase. Stop this toxic masculinity.

Negative Masculine Stereotypes:

• Talking with others about your issues and concerns is weak. Men should fight them all alone without any help or support. 
• A guys who does not fight back is weak. Guys always have to act strong. 
• Spending too much time on your looks is not manly 
• Men don't do household chores. 
• Straight guys should not have gay friends 
• A real man never say no to coitus 
• Men should use violence and they always have a final say in any relationship. 

So today I was scrolling down Instagram and I saw a post where an RJ walks into the Men's washroom to play a prank on a man for a reel. Just for content and was harassing that men. But the post said just imagine the roll being reversed. I have question do you really think that role reversal in this case was necessary? I don't think so it was. The reason why I don't believe it because irrespective of the gender harassment is harassment. Wonder why many didn't raised their voice against this. Just because he was a man, it's okay? Never! In fact domestic violence has been seen as a "women's issue" but it is not entirely true. Nearly 40% of men experience intimate partner violence in their lifetimes but many refuse to come out. Men are not believed, they are seen as "weak", unable to "handle their women". You need to understand that domestic violence can be faced by men too.  Secondly please stop making boys feel like being feminine makes them gay. This is a very homophobic tactic to force boys into a box. Not every male who is gay is feminine. Stop with the negative stereotypes.  

Today let's make new norms: 

• asking for help will always be a sign of strength. 
• Men show your vulnerabilities. 
• Domestic role and chores are not defined by any gender. 
• Men are attractive even if they take time. 
• Crying is not a weakness.
• Not fighting back is a choice.  

Let's prove that equality is not only on paper but present in real life!